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Vessed
"There are no lies about Vessed on the Vessed Wiki." - Vessed 2019 Vessed Born in an unknown location at an unknown time, the doctors who delivered this baby boy knew not the great terror they had just unleashed into the world. He would be raised in Elkton, Maryland. Later migrating to North Carolina for his dream career in raising the endangered West Indian Manatee at a local Manatee shelter. Vessed took up streaming video games on twitch as a part-time hobby and here we are... Early Life and Military Service Not much is known about his early life, but there are a few confirmed counts dating back to 1988 from individuals claiming to have known Vessed. An anonymous statement made by a homeless veteran living in Detroit advised us that Vessed may have served with him in the Korean war. The anonymous veteran went on to tell us about Vessed having no less than 13 confirmed kills during his 3 tours of duty. It was also stated that on his 3rd tour of duty Vessed was captured by the Peoples Republic of Korea and subjected to extreme forms of torture including but not limited to the following: * Being forced to make out with NCSledge * Being forced to eat 12 Avocados at a time * Shaving the pubes off of an anorexic asian grandma and supergluing them to his lips. Tragedy After his military service Vessed settled down off the coast of the Pacific where he began raising a rare breed of dwarf pigs (Sus scrofa domesticus). Regrettably, there was a large fire the started on his ranch and he lost 82% of his crops and animals to the flame. Vessed never recovered from this tragic loss and left his ranch for a fresh start in 1992. Recovery It is implied that during his time recovering from this tragic loss, Vessed converted to mormonism and began drinking heavily at night in his suburban apartment with roommate Mitt Romney. Vessed eventually recovered from his alcoholic mormonism and moved to Wisconsin on a quest to better his mind, body, and spirit. He moved in January of 1994 and purchased his first home with money from the crowd funding website "GoFundMe." Education and Accomplishments From 1994 to 1996 Vessed lived in Madison, Wisconsin where he furthered his education at the University of Wisconsin-Madison campus until he graduated in 1997 with honors. During his time at UW-Madison, Vessed impregnated over 32 women and to the puzzlement of modern day scientists, 2 men. Vessed took classes specializing in gender studies and interpretive dance. During tenure he was a member of several prestiges clubs such as "The Furry Club" and "Hentai Lovers Anonymous." When asked to comment on the existence of these clubs US-Madison refused to return our phone calls. Several classmate who graduated with Vessed have confirmed that he lived in the dorms during his tenure however, there have been several reports of Vessed being the only known male member of the all female sorority - Gamma Phi Beta and lived at their sorority house. This is however, still unconfirmed. One of the more well known accomplishments during his time at UW-Madison was when "The Furry Club" went to the national furry championships where the UW-Madison team (lead by team captan Vessed) took home to title of 1997 World Furry Yiff Orgy Champions. This win was notably the first of its kind for UW-Madison and Vessed still has a picture hung in his honor inside the Furry Yiff Orgy training room. It is tradition to shine a blacklight on it at the beginning of each training session. Humanitarian Works In the summer of 1997, after graduation collage Vessed donated his crowd funded home to a homeless man he found wondering the streets of Madison. This homeless man was Sean Connery, who would go on to become a famous actor and star in several James Bond films. Sean Connery's friendship with Vessed would continue to play a large impact in Vessed's life and inspire him to begin his humanitarian work with the endangered West Indian Manatee after he moved to North Carolina. Vessed has donated several thousands of dollars to charities such as "The Gay Furry Alliance" and "Pups for Pride." These large donations are the cause for some criticism. Several critics of Vessed such as Twitch user "NiceMovesBoy" have called for Vessed to release his tax returns to the public.